I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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