We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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