Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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