They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
pray to the hookup gods
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
