ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
