It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
