Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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