So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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