You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
