I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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