Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
