Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
