Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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