Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Dude, just got a bummer.

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

What??

(502): View more from Kentucky

A blow job from a homeless chick.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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(954): View more from Florida

I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"

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(816): View more from Missouri

Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?

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(636): View more from Missouri

Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.

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