I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize