garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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