Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
