The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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