I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
