to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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