handjob tips. give me some.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
