physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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