why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
