I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize