Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize