you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
