My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
