my mouth tastes like poor choices
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
