oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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