just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
