Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
