awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
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For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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