I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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