How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
