So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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