But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
