I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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