tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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