he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
