someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
