you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
