Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize