Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
