just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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