his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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