I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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