whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
