Kiss
Puke
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
