Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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