I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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