so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
