So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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