covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
