After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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