so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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